At the pub
by Vincents-Soul
Summary: A light hearted look at what happens in the pubs. Please R&R (Open to guest writers)
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any FF characters, living or dead, or parts thereof. Nothing. Not a sausage  
  
Well, this is just a quick collection of ideas, I might write more if I get some reviews. Anyway...  
  
**In a pub, somewhere near Junon:  
**  
"Hn?" Cid muttered, caught unaware and daydreaming into his beer glass.  
  
"I said, where's Cait?" Cloud repeated himself, taking a swig from a bottle of vodka.  
  
"Oh..erm..well..."  
  
"Hey! Guess what I got!" Yuffie exclaimed as she bounced into the pub, wearing her usual grin, and a large amount of mud.  
  
"What have you got, Yuf? I hope its not another Elixir, we got loads of those already" Tifa scorned, pointing at the growing mound of muddy bottles in the corner, pinching Clouds bottle as he looked away.  
  
Yuffies face fell. "Oh.." She drudged over to where the gang was, and plonked down in silence.  
  
"Excuse me?" A gruff voice interrupted Tifa's titterings. A burly man, not much older than Cid, but with far more facial hair and a cigar, was casting a mournful stare at them. "I'm sorry, I cannot allow her in her, she's under age"  
  
"What?! But I came in here yesterday! And the day before! How did you know?! Vinny! Tell him to let me stay! Turn into Chaos and scare him! Vinny! Vinny?" Yuffie whined. "How did they know I was underage?!"  
  
"..." Vincent replied, before turning away and smiling slyly into his orange juice.  
  
Tifa just grinned and turned away, staring at Cid, who managed to stifle a laugh, while Cloud took a large gulp from his bottle that he had managed to rescue.  
  
"...gits...." Yuffie muttered, marching, head held high towards the door.  
  
"That was not very nice" Red's voice came from under Clouds chair. "I think you should go and apologize." He added. Cloud looked down, puzzled for a moment as to why his chair was talking.  
  
"And we don't allow dogs in here either" the barman called.  
  
"I am not a dog" Red retorted, still under Clouds chair, making the blonde man frown and scratch his head  
  
"Well, you have paws, and four of em, OUT!" he called, going red in the face, his cigar dangling dangerously on his lips. Red obliged, and, muttering, skulked out of the door to join Yuffie.  
  
Cloud leaned over and tapped Tifa's arm. "My chairs talking" he whispered, swaying slightly. Tifa leaned over, and lowered her head to Clouds chair. "S'not saying owt to me..." she slurred. Cloud took a big swig from his bottle, spilling most of it over Tifa's head. Tifa sat up in shock, her now wet head connecting with Clouds chest, sending him sprawling across the floor.  
  
Barret smiled at the ineptitude of his companions, his features cracking. Soon, he was shaking all over with roaring laughter, before suddenly collapsing headfirst onto the table, completely paralytic and unconscious, murmuring ".... hiccup...hehe...hic!" softly 


	2. Chapter 2

Right, time for chapter two! Kindly written by 

Mai Hasagwa, (AKA. Cath). Sorry I took so long to get around to it!

Chapter 2:

Back in Kalm all over again...

"Hey everyone..." came a distant voice who could have been none other than Tifa's.

"Tifa, what's up?" Cloud asked, pulling his eyes away from the empty peanut packet.

"Other than the fact Red XIII decided to scoff ALL of the peanuts?" continued Yuffie, giving Red XIII a stern, menacing glance.

"Well..." She plonked herself on the seat next to Cid, who was quite oblivious to Tifa even being there.

"It's...see, I've begun to wonder..."

"Where all the peanuts have gone?" interrupted Cid suddenly realising Tifa was there "Me too. Anyone want some more. I'll go buy,"

"ME! MORE!" said Yuffie suddenly grabbing Cid's coat and following him into the bar.

"Oh...." sighed Tifa looking up at the sky.

"Now Cid and Yuffie have disappeared thanks to our peanut distraction," began Barret, "Tell us what's wrong,"

"See, I'm thinking of getting my glove an upgrade, but..." Tifa said, smiling at the rusty blades "Should I? I mean I don't have to. What do you think Cloud?" Tifa held her rusty blades at Cloud's face, who leaned away saying, "Tifa, you need an upgrade. You've had those rusty blades on since, I don't know when. Maybe now's a good time to upgrade. I have,". Cloud removed his sword to admire its new shine and glisten. "See, it still LOOKS the same, it's just a little different...". Cloud was interrupted by a burp and stared down at Red XIII who had, much to Yuffie's disgust, 1 peanut left.

"Sorry..." he mumbled and dozed off to sleep with a full belly of peanuts.

"Well, at least it's a change from cookies..." sighed Vincent.

"Cookies!? Where!? Gimme some!" Yuffie came running out of the bar screaming, holding 2 empty bags of peanuts and jabbing Redsharply in the stomach with her foot.

* * *

You know the drill, please R&R. If anyone has any suggestions or chapters to any of my stories, feel free to send me an email, or drop intomyhomepage on my profile to take part in ShinRa's Experiment. I also make NO apologies for this blatant plug. :P 

-Vincent-


End file.
